Yesterday I heard a comment from a young mom with one baby: "I just don't understand when I see parents being rude to their kids."
Ah. . . I remember the days when I, too, couldn't understand the impatience and imperfection of the parents around me. I could respond gently and lovingly to my one year old practically all the time; why couldn't these other parents get their acts together?
Those fantasies of Perfect Motherhood began to unravel the day my 18 month old figured out her newborn sister wouldn't be leaving the premesis anytime soon. She also decided, that same day, that it was time to start practice being a Two Year Old, and the word "no!" and tantrums commenced. My sweet girl became more uncontrollable than she'd ever been.
The Uncontrollable factor has exploded exponentially since. And frankly, sometimes I don't respond all that well when things are not under my control.
Welcome to Motherhood: God's daily reminder that we are not in control.
At the height of the family craziness, when I still believed it was my job to singlehandedly fix my broken marriage and my kids' broken hearts, I was, to but it bluntly, Insane. I had it in my brain that if I could just control the people and circumstances around me, everything would be Hunky Dory.
Problem: I cannot control the people and circumstances around me. It wasn't for lack of trying, I can tell you that.
Someone said to me, "Krysta, there's a God, and you ain't Him. Let go, and let God."
I tried it, and you know what? It worked. God is so much better at ordering the details of my world than I am.
Because I know it's not my job to "make" my kids be a certain way, I'm a lot better at accepting them, and a lot calmer when doling out necessary consequences.
Not that I don't have my moments. But when I find myself beginning a Control Binge, I know what to do. Let go, and let God.
I'm Krysta Knapp, a single mom of 4 kids - and I call it like I see it. Motherhood is not all Rainbows and Lollipops. It does, however, provide an endless fount of amusement. That is, if you find barf and tantrums amusing.
Three of the Four
Dubya and Banana surf on the loveseat, while Abadoo shows off her braces
Meet Krysta's Brood
I'm Krysta, a mostly-stay-at-home Single Mom (cush, I know!) of the four greatest kids on the planet. I'm about to become a full-time student, and boy, am I full of gratitude to my parents, Nana and Pop (Free Babysitters Extrordinaire!)and Ace, the college student who lives with us and also babysits. I dream of my bestseller being plugged by Oprah, of being a more-stylish Susan Boyle, of someday being able to pull off the Skinny Jean look. More realistically, I dream of raising Upright Citizens who know and love God, and who pay that love forward in really practical ways to people who desperately need someone to love on them. And to somehow save enough to pay for a Tummy Tuck.
Abadoo is 10 and a half, which is much older than 10. That girl has the most infectious enthusiasm and is always coming up with new ideas. Her newest one is handing out personalized candy treats to the kids on our street while we are trick-or-treating. Each candy is wrapped in decorative paper that contains a message she thought up specially for each child. I just burst with pride over that girl!
M&M is 9. She is into fashion, snakes, and armpit farting. I believe that, despite her Southern roots, she will never make a very good debutante. M&M is wildly creative and has the purest, most beautiful singing voice I've ever heard.
Dubya is the only guy in the family. We watch lots of Star Wars movies and cartoons to try and make it up to him. My 7 year old guy is happiest when doing math worksheets or fighting someone with his plastic light saber. He is also a Lego Genius, and he laughs at all my jokes, which makes me love him even more.
Banana is the Baby, although she scowls at me sometimes when I say that. At 5, she still talks like Elmer Fudd, and I will be incredibly sad when that disappears. She now goes to Big Kid School and spends her days desperately trying to catch up with her older siblings.
We also have a tadpole named Obi Wan and an aquatic frog named Annikin. Yoda the Tadpole perished during a recent water change.
Abadoo is 10 and a half, which is much older than 10. That girl has the most infectious enthusiasm and is always coming up with new ideas. Her newest one is handing out personalized candy treats to the kids on our street while we are trick-or-treating. Each candy is wrapped in decorative paper that contains a message she thought up specially for each child. I just burst with pride over that girl!
M&M is 9. She is into fashion, snakes, and armpit farting. I believe that, despite her Southern roots, she will never make a very good debutante. M&M is wildly creative and has the purest, most beautiful singing voice I've ever heard.
Dubya is the only guy in the family. We watch lots of Star Wars movies and cartoons to try and make it up to him. My 7 year old guy is happiest when doing math worksheets or fighting someone with his plastic light saber. He is also a Lego Genius, and he laughs at all my jokes, which makes me love him even more.
Banana is the Baby, although she scowls at me sometimes when I say that. At 5, she still talks like Elmer Fudd, and I will be incredibly sad when that disappears. She now goes to Big Kid School and spends her days desperately trying to catch up with her older siblings.
We also have a tadpole named Obi Wan and an aquatic frog named Annikin. Yoda the Tadpole perished during a recent water change.
T*I*T*S spells. . . what?
Banana proudly announced today, "Mom, I have t*i*t*s!"
"Oh? And what does that spell?" I inquired. Like I didn't know.
Banana looked at me like I'm a moron and said, "Tights."
"Oh? And what does that spell?" I inquired. Like I didn't know.
Banana looked at me like I'm a moron and said, "Tights."
M&M the Drummin' Fool
Blog Archive
Posts
About Me
- Krysta Carhart and Amanda Robertson
- We are about to graduate from nursing school. One of us has had four kids and has never had an epidural; the other will be starting a family soon and definitely wants the epidural!
I do believe this post deserves an "AMEN!"...how true...God IS a much better "fixer" then we could ever be...and how nice that we don't have to!
ReplyDeleteMany Blessings!
Jill
Oh my, I think this post may have been written for me as a way of preparing for children... if thats even possible :)
ReplyDeleteI can completely see driving myself crazy trying to control things.
You said it girl!!! I constantly think my children and their behavior reflects on me, and "oh my goodness, what will people say if I don't control that???" Ahem. yeah... that letting go thing? I struggle, but I am working on it!!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Sasha